An ex girlfriend of mine just texted me asking if I knew of a car wash service that has hand wash service.
About a year ago, I stopped going to the regular car wash place. The cost had creeped up to about $17 with all the fees and tipping of the guys with the towels etc… I had had enough. So, I started washing my car myself once every couple weeks. I don’t care if it’s not perfect. I’m done spending money on stupid things like that. Perhaps you can relate.
My ex is in a different place altogether. Gotta get that perfect car wash. As I recall, she was driving a jeep. So, I’m not sure what the point of hand wash on a jeep is. But, our exchange raises an interesting question – can a spender and a frugal person be compatible?
Finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship, according to a survey of people in a relationship or partnership released by SunTrust Bank.
If you’re married, you need to be on the same page. And indulgences are part of life. But what happens if one person views indulgences as necessary. I need it. I deserve it. The future be damned.
When you get married, you typically learn what the other person can’t live without. When my friend got married, he told me his wife couldn’t live without getting her hair blown out once a week – think that’s about $75 each.
Of course, some people get married and lead separate financial lives. Accounts are separate. Each has a separate credit card for their must have purchases.
I’m not making light of the tricky terrain of combining finances. However, as a Dave Ramsey listener, I can’t help but mention how happy the couples are that join their finances, work together, and get out of debt.
And the opposite end of the spectrum – I knew a very successful businessman who was nearly bankrupted by an expensive second wife. He had real estate and investments, but accumulated debt to finance her lifestyle expectations. It was painful to watch.
Money fights are the leading cause of stress in marriages. Yet, discussing these subjects are challenging to say the least.
Each of us has a money history. The baggage of how our parents viewed money. The psychological baggage of being raised from a depression era parent or a parent that used money to make up for not being around.
Of course, It’s possible to be too frugal. To be so focused on amassing Wealth for the hope of a secure retirement, that you don’t enjoy the process. None of us is guaranteed tomorrow. It’s possible to spend decades building a business and then die shortly after retiring. It’s not uncommon.
Each of us is looking to strike the right balance between ensuring a secure future and enjoying today. And in the real world of social media and non stop advertising by Madison Avenue, these issues get muddled.
Madison Avenue is unrelenting in crafting images to make us want more. To associate products with happiness, status, or attainment.
The reality is each of us only has a few decades to build a nest egg for retirement and to prepare for the future.
Don’t let Financial regrets compound over time. Allow your money to compound.
We mature as we age and hopefully that includes our view of money. I regret some of the dumb things I wasted money on in my twenties and thirties. I’m sure you do too.
It would be hard for me to partner with someone still spending money to impress other people. It goes beyond money.
Beyond the financial issue, it’s just an unsatisfying and exhausting way to live. I know this because I spent heavily to live this way. There’s always a nicer car, house, yacht, or toy. Happiness is just right around the corner – the next Rolex or Birkin Bag.
I’d love to know your thoughts.
Feel free to comment below.